No more excuses

• It is well documented that for every mile you jog, you add 1 minute to your life. This enables you at 95 years old...to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5,000 per month.
• My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now and we don’t know where she is.
• The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
• I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Have NOT lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.
• I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
• I don’t exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.
• I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
• I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
• The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
• If you are going to try cross-county skiing, start with a small country.
• I don’t jog, it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.
• I am already thin so if I exercise I will waste away
• I do not need to exercise because my favourite TV show is “Celebrity Fit Club”
• I already get my daily exercise by walking to the donut shop
• I exercise in the office by swiveling on my computer chair, typing and clicking my mouse.
• I cannot exercise because the Nike Air Trainers I need cost $350
• Running shorts make me giggle like a schoolgirl.
• All my wheezing and gasping for air frightens the neighbor kids.
• Stretching and warming up puts me right to sleep… before the workout starts.
• Fed up with the neighbors hollering, “Hey mister, do you need an ambulance?!”
• I don't need to run, that's what the horses are for.